I was watching Jeremy Kyle this afternoon, in between moving
random bits of furniture on my overly long summer break. The situation was that
the woman thought that her boyfriend of nine months was cheating on her. On his
shows, Kyle provides the background through talking to the people involved. In
the studio, the backdrop of which looking like one of the less impressive
pieces at the Saatchi Gallery, was the woman herself, the boyfriend in question
and the woman’s daughter who thought that the boyfriend wasn’t lying. The talky
bits seemed rather comical, as Kyle himself laughed at the story of underwear
being posted through letterboxes. The boyfriend, however, was not in the same
mood – he was bricking himself. The ‘all-important’ lie-detector results come
in and actually, the boyfriend was faithful and Jeremy Kyle goes from being
comedy compere to bedside-speaking care bear in little more than five seconds
in telling the woman to stop being paranoid, as the daughter described.
I believe that shows like Jeremy Kyle show to people that
people are far too insecure. It might be good to have fear, but an anxiety that
questions every aspect of not just your, but other people’s lives, is unhealthy.
The whole incident started, as was stated on the show, by text messages to
women that she didn’t know. No-one likes to be lied to, but unless you are
certain and can confirm suspicions, for instance perfume on shirts and skimpy lingerie
in pockets, there should be little that should drive you to such conclusions,
because you’re confident in you and your partner. If you are confident that he
is cheating, what’s wrong with splitting up? It may be stressful but being free
is indeed liberating to move with the breeze that propels you into the future?
To show I am no agony aunt writing such hodgepodge and thus wasting your time, I am surprised to find such loss of self-confidence, but I
know (because I am confident… or arrogant) that I shouldn’t. The culture in
which we live and participate is centred on perfection – nice house; nice car; nice
husband/wife; sex more than once a week – and we are consequentially self-destructing
as a society, in a state of micromanagement and a lack of focus on the wider
issues in the world. Society needs other people’s approval constantly. It’s why
Jeremy Kyle always has an audience and ratings, so that middle-class people
like me can say that life could be worse; it’s why people go on Jeremy Kyle, so
that they can be told that they are the dog’s bollocks.
It almost seems that people are afraid of being responsible.
When you make a mistake upon the advice of friends or family, it is about as
easy to point your finger and go running up to bedrooms and slamming doors as
it is to flick a light switch. The reasoning needed to realise your own faults and listening to yourself is a hell of a lot harder – that takes balls of steel more than ever, when people are telling us that we're pathetic and on several rungs below those people who are famous for exposed vulvas in limousines or ridiculous boob jobs.
Meanwhile, the people
in power, rightly unimpressed with its never-ending downhill trend in the
financial world, has blamed the Eurozone, the previous government, lazy
workers, benefit scroungers, the disabled, bank holidays among many other
groups in society for the current failure to keep borrowing and the deficit
down. What is needed by those who have the ability to set things straight in
the mess we are in and which we all created, through borrowing too much and
high costs of living, is confidence. Yes we can, Obama said innumerate times on
his election campaign in 2008. And may I reply, By Jove, I think we should all
get it.
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